Love Note – The Vogue Colouring Book

I hate/love to sound like a two year old, but I was inspired to buy a colouring book after seeing my friend’s. She has a Harry Potter-themed one and had done a beautiful job of meticulously colouring in the scene of Harry and Ron flying Arthur Weasley’s Ford Anglia. Her shading was gorgeous. Where I would have coloured Harry and Ron in pink, she had expertly blended a combination of peach, yellow and cream to re-create the colour of white skin. I realised that good colouring requires a lot more skill than just picking a crayon and keeping between the lines. I had some arty things to learn.

When the Vogue colouring book was published I was all over it like it was a Selfridges sale (top tip you guys: Paige jeans. The best fitting jeans you will ever wear, will last forever if you wash them cold, ethically made in Los Angeles, £350 in real life but often reduced to £70 in the Selfridges sale. You can thank me later). As much as I would like to make clothing, I have never learnt how and it is unlikely to happen anytime soon. I tried my hand at designing clothing when I was in secondary school, have binged on multiple episodes of Project Runway and have taken a particular interest in fashion writing for many, many years, so the opportunity to colour in some glorious illustrations from the 1950s seemed like too much fun to miss. I nabbed a copy after visiting the Vogue 100 exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery in 2016.

Ever since then, all of my fashion designing delusions of grandeur have been released in a healthy safe, way. I rarely follow the original description copy in the book, choosing to blaze my own (ridiculous) trail. With my box of crayons, I have tested my sartorial eye by colour clashing, at times imagining myself as Alessandro Michele, Raf Simons and Phoebe Philo, and even put Hubert de Givenchy to shame with a great replication of an LBD. Aside from colouring one woman’s arm in purple by accident, there have been no huge disasters.

It might all be a bit silly but I can safely say that I’ve had a whole lot of fun, expressed myself in a creative capacity when I’ve been bored and tempted to scroll through Instagram, and I’ve given myself a bit of styling education and practice. Here are some of my favourite exhibits and design notes:

Woman in beige

Kate Moss once said in conversation with Nick Knight that she would be loathe to wear a beige suit, so I decided to try and make a beige suit look nice. I think it’s OK.

 

Woman in turqouise

This woman encapsulates all my turquoise-mermaid-dress-and-turban-combo ambitions. I love this look.

 

Woman who looks like Meryl Streep

This woman is spits of Meryl Streep. It’s ridiculous.

 

Woman in stripes

Beachwear that dreams are made of but I wish I’d done the glasses in tortoiseshell #hindsight #designerproblems

 

Woman done by Stanley

Sharing is caring and I let a little family member colour this woman in. I have to say, I’m liking the psychedelic vibes.

 

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Similarly with these women. My sister did some really quite expert shading for the woman on the left, whilst I went for statement (millenial?) pink on the right. I also did the dog.

 

Woman who looks fabulous

This dress was inspired by Jennifer Lawrence’s dress at the SAG Awards in 2014. I don’t know why I remember that dress so clearly, but I do. Textbook Raf Simons.

 

Woman with dog and absinthe

So many life goals right here: cute dog in hand, a glass of Absinthe, killer hat, sassy gloves and black lipstick done well.

 

Woman in red

This woman reminds me of the fabulous Jacquie ‘Tajah’ Murdock, who was cast in a Lanvin advertising campaign in 2012 at the age of 82. When I am an older woman, I hope to pull off a red jumpsuit with this much grace.

 

Woman who looks like a Hitchcock film

I feel like I created a Hitchcock heroine here and I am thrilled. I didn’t realise that skirt suits come great in a cool grey, a green veil is all I’ve ever dreamed of and that all seagulls should be pink.

 

Pink hair don't care

Pink hair don’t care (I would LOVE to give this a go one day.). And yes. The Balmain sweepy on the right makes me weepy. I need a moment like this in a dress like that in the future sometime (please sartorial gods).

Love Note: Skiing and Snowboarding

“I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery—air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, “This is what it is to be happy.”

I am fortunate enough to have spent many years learning how to ski and it is one of my favourite things on the planet. Esther Greenwood’s description of the sport in Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar (see above) is absolutely accurate and I couldn’t have put it better myself. I am aware that skiing is a leisure preserve of the middle class and is obscenely expensive; indeed I haven’t been on a skiing holiday in years because I can’t afford it. However, through skiing, I have had some life-changing experiences, met some amazing people and had a whole lot of fun:

Experiences like being five years old and falling off a drag lift and crying in despair (I thought I was lost forever). My instructor, Yannik, scooped me up, tucked me safely in front of him and got me safely up the mountain. There, he kneeled down next to me and pulled off his glove revealing that his right hand was missing. Seeing this shocked me into silence and he said warmly, ‘If I can ski with one hand, you can do anything’;

Bouncing through bumpy forest trails as part of a crocodile of squealing children, gasping with laughter, barely in control and skiing through the most magical wintry surroundings;

Having existential conversations with fellow ten year olds on chair lifts: kids I met and knew for a week, put the world to rights with and then never saw again. This included one British kid I met in Colorado who, after an extensive conversation about winning the lottery, turned out to be related to my P.E. teacher who had taken early retirement after winning the Lotto jackpot a mere two weeks before;

Battling my way down notorious slopes like ‘Sache’ in Val-D’Isère, ‘Shock’ in Breckenridge, ‘Creux Noir’ in Courchevel and ‘Ghengis Khan’ in Vail;

Experiencing the elements in a visceral way, whether it’s gliding around in brilliant sunshine and sparkling snow, or using your gloves as a makeshift mask when snow is hitting your face in sharp pellets;

Learning how to properly carve by an Australian called John who lived his best life teaching kids how to ski during the winter and working as a carpenter in the summer;

Witnessing and experiencing a multitude of mishaps and injuries, for example: falling off a chairlift due to a cacophony of communication errors; falling off a T-Bar with a friend due to a lot of bad luck (why am I always falling off things?!); watching my dad plough into a snow wall he couldn’t see because it was the same colour as the cloud we were skiing through (I almost wet myself laughing); chomping on my tongue during a fall and spitting blood for ten minutes; watching someone in my ski group snap a ligament in her leg and being tobogganed down the mountain; and, the worst, watching 18 year old Neal Valiton tumble to his death during the 2007 IFSA World Freeride Championship in Tignes.

Skiing is fun and some mistakes are unfortunate and unavoidable, but anyone who doesn’t take yours and their safety extremely seriously isn’t worth skiing with. The mountain is beautiful but it is not always your friend. In light of this, it can become an incredibly mindful sport: you plonk yourself on the side of a mountain and somehow you have to get down as safely as possible. For me, crazy as it sounds, what ensues is a very clear and concerted inner conversation with myself. I have to navigate my way through ice and moguls, through white outs with zero visibility and the chaos that are nursery slopes at the end of the day, deciding how big or short my turns have to be, how much speed I can afford to pick up and how the rest of my group are getting along. In the process I give myself pep talks, sometimes even sing to myself when I get a good rhythm, and the whole effect is ridiculously calming.

This was proved again last weekend when I had my first snowboarding lesson at the Tamworth Snow Dome. To begin with, it felt almost sacrilegious because I had abandoned skis and poles for extremely comfortable boots and a single plank with sharp edges. But, after a shaky start, which included screaming in the instructor’s face as he helped me to edge down the hill, I dropped down into that calm, mature inner place that doesn’t always make itself known on a day-to-day basis. It was clear and confident, and sounded like: ‘OK Harper, we’re here now, on a snowboard, slightly out of control, what are we going to do about it?’ I slowed down, becoming mindful of my body and it’s movements (including the limits of what I was currently able to do) and, in so doing, embraced this new and disorientating experience. I have realised that my work is to try and tap into this place a lot more often.

 

 

(Featured image is my photo of El Pas de la Casa resort in Andorra, 2015)

Love Note – ‘Please Mr Kennedy’

The first Coen Brothers film I watched was Fargo when I was 18 and I really didn’t get it. The parody of a ‘true’ crime drama, with its humour and comic book violence, was all lost on me. As I’ve grown older, my awareness and appreciation of the Coen oeuvre has increased and expanded. My main Coen Brothers eureka moment came with A Serious Man, by way of True Grit and No Country for Old Men (I still need to watch The Big Lebowski and others). With Larry’s exasperated declaration that ‘I don’t want Santana Abraxis! I’ve just been in a terrible auto accident!’ I finally understood the full hilarious extent of the artful and subtle writing. Which brings me to Inside Llewyn Davis, which I find hilarious and joyful in its anger and misery, and it has become one of my favourites.

Llewyn is my favourite kind of grumpy arse who believes he should be an uber-successful musician but is blinded by pride, egotism and poor decision-making capabilities.[1] He has opportunities to help himself throughout the film, but prefers rather to wallow in his own self-importance and curse everyone around him for his short-sightedness, bad luck and inability to compromise. I love Llewyn because he is propelled by both intense delusions of grandeur but also a kind of endearing vulnerability that prevents him from being able to do anything else but be creative. The film was criticised by Suzanne Vega for turning the folk scene in 1960s New York into ‘a slow brown sad movie’, but I think this is to misunderstand what the Coens are getting at: there probably was a Llewyn in 1960s New York, just as there was probably a Llewyn at every point in artistic history. Wherever art and creativity are mixed up with commercial success, fame and recognition, there is going to be a Llewyn. Where there’s a Bob Dylan, there is a Llewyn. There has always been a Llewyn and there will always be a Llewyn.

One of my favourite scenes in the film is where Llewyn records a childish, novelty song with Jim Berkey (Justin Timberlake) and Al Cody (Adam Driver). ‘Please Mr Kennedy’ gives me life and I frequently sing it around the house, getting it stuck in the heads of loved ones around me (you’re welcome). Click the photo below to have a watch:

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I love everything about this 2 minutes and 59 seconds. I love the hideousness of Justin Timberlake’s beige jumper; Oscar Isaac’s cooler-than-thou cigarette hanging from his mouth; the nauseating earnestness of Timberlake’s insistence of two ‘P Ps’ before ‘please’; I love that Llewyn thinks he’s too good for the song (Llewyn: Who wrote this? Jim: I did); I love Timberlake singing and staring God-wards as though he’s delivering the most profound song in the world, when it’s probably the most ridiculous; the series of surreal blurtings and ejaculations in the scene-stealing performance of Adam Driver (‘One second please!’ and ‘Uh Oh!’ being my favourite accompaniments); the cheesiness of Timberlake’s ‘Oh pleeeeeeease’ and Llewyn’s sterling attempts to meet him with his eyes closed; and I love the stupid lyrics and the stupid music. The whole thing is just hilarious.[2]

As well as being a bonafide ear worm, I love ‘Please Mr Kennedy’ because I realised that it loosely presents a bit of an allegory for life. It reminds me of a famous painting that depicts the three standard bearers of Eastern philosophy and spirituality: the vinegar tasters.

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'The_Three_Vinegar_Tasters'_by_Kano_Isen'in,_c._1802-1816,_Honolulu_Museum_of_Art,_6156.1

The picture depicts Confucius, Buddha and Lao Tsu and represent the basic tenets of their belief systems: Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism. We have Confucius, who perceives life as full of corruption and people needing saving from degeneration: he tastes vinegar as sour, as ‘polluted wine’. Llewyn, the archetypal mardy bum hates ‘Please Mr Kennedy’, thinks it’s crap and wants to blast his way through it to get to the folk music career he wants.

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Jim represents (in a very loose way, please indulge me), Buddha. Buddha sees that tasting vinegar exposes him to bitterness, life’s bitterness. We are offered the opportunity to practice not avoiding the difficulties and trials of life, but also to practice not being overwhelmed by them either. Jim understands that he cannot take responsibility for himself and his family by pursuing a career as a purist folk singer. Whilst he performs folk classics at The Gaslight Café, he also makes space for a crap novelty song, no less earnest and with no less integrity in his performance of it as he is of ‘500 Miles’. Either which way, he is performing, practising, trying to find a middle way.

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Al represents Lao Tsu and the Tao. Lao Tsu tastes the vinegar and rejoices in the vinegar-ness of the vinegar. It is sweet to Lao Tsu because it is manifesting according to its nature, exactly as it should: when life is appreciated as it should, it becomes sweet. In a similar way, Al Cody is committed to ‘Please Mr Kennedy’ for what it is, no qualms, no quarrels but with plenty of gusto and dedication. His singing part requires no less: a half-hearted ‘Outer Space!’ just wouldn’t work. As such, as I mentioned earlier, he pretty much steals the scene.

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‘Please Mr Kennedy’ is a shmuck song, artistically questionable, a real toe-tapper and perhaps the most important song in the entire film. To appreciate it speaks volumes and to not appreciate it speaks volumes. I think we have all three characters inside of us at any one point and they all have something to teach us. I’ve had many a Llewyn day, which is fine: Llewyn is great, I wouldn’t not be a bit Llewyn. But I would encourage myself, as much as possible, to be Al: to appreciate and revel in the nature of things just as they are. This sublimely ridiculous life, encapsulated in this sublimely silly song, requires just as much humour and healthy ridiculousness to meet it.

[1] Llewyn is Welsh for ‘lion’ or ‘leader’, which just feeds the wonderful irony about this miserable, supercilious protagonist.

[2] What makes this all even better, now that time and pop culture have elapsed since 2013, is that Oscar Isaac and Adam Driver now play adversaries Poe Dameron and Kylo Ren in the new Star Wars films. What a joy it is to see these two men, stars of the biggest sci-fi franchise of all time, strumming away singing the best stupid song about space ever written. Sarah Brightman’s ‘I Lost My Heart to a Star Ship Trooper’ must be the worst stupid song about space ever written.

 

 

Love Note – Having a cold

Here’s the situation: a stranger breathed into my face on Monday (I work a people-facing job) and now the harbingers of disease are waving their red flags in my body. My throat has seized up, I’m sneezing constantly, my nose is blocked, I’m fatigued and the creeping dread of infirmity has descended on me like a dark cloud. I pine for the days when I wasn’t ill, cursing the daily hubris of complacency that prevented me from truly appreciating my health now that I can’t breathe, my limbs ache and my sneezes trumpet forlornly into the gloomy, snotty night.

I am coming to believe, however, that amongst all of this bodily dysfunction, I am being presented with a number of opportunities here. I can rage and throw myself a big pity party for the duration, which I am so tempted to do, or I can heed my body’s calls to slow everything right down. I can ask myself a question that I don’t really ask enough: what do I really need right now?

What can freak us out about being ill is that slowing down on a physical level can mean getting stuck in our heads, which can be challenging places to be. We live such fast-paced and distracted lives: all looking ahead to the next goal, the next weekend, the next project, and using our downtime to scroll mindlessly and binge on television, films and YouTube videos. I don’t think we are used to nurturing ourselves properly in those quiet moments we have on a regular basis, in that we don’t give ourselves a proper chance to rest, to be present, to just be with ourselves. As a result, this can make times when we are ill, and have no choice but to slow down, very uncomfortable. My being ill in the past has made me feel quite anxious, where I have begun to wallow in negative thoughts, am hit by big fears and feel lost and listless.

So again: what is needed? On a physical level I need water, lots of water. Vitamin C is also my best friend: I had a smoothie this morning made from peaches, blueberries, banana and grapes. I have kiwis waiting for me when I get home. Lunch comprised of leftover chickpea and spinach curry (thank you MW), where I’m hoping the heat will work its pain-relieving qualities and get some movement through this bunged up nasal situation. I have found that ginger (raw or in tea) is miraculous at counteracting nausea and nothing is as comforting as a bowl of soup and a hot cup of tea.

I might do some journaling or dialoguing with some of the thoughts and worries that flare up, starting by asking myself why it stresses me out so much when I get ill, why slowing down is so draining for me. If I can sit with and move through that discomfort for a bit, then I might be able to find some clarity and lightness. Practising gratitude is also such a worthwhile thing to do. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I can take time to reflect on things big and small: like how bloody lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life, but also how much simple joy I get from a bright sunny day. Or doughnuts. What would I do without doughnuts?

I would be so tempted to spend all day binge watching Disney films or my beloved Real Housewives trash (and some room can definitely be made for one or two of these things), but binging in general is not a good idea. Instead, I could do a variety of nourishing things like reading, carving out time to meditate, preparing some writing for my blog, doing some colouring in my Vogue colouring book (a guaranteed way to unleash all my fashionable delusions of grandeur), taking a nice warm shower, having multiple naps if my body needs it and finally: fresh air. Obviously if you’re completely bed-ridden, this is nigh-on impossible: but I will always try and get some fresh air flowing by either going for the smallest of walks or making sure that a window is open.

Being ill is unpleasant, but it doesn’t have to be wasted time. In fact, it could be seen as an invitation to spend some better time with yourself. There are many things I know I can do to help relieve my symptoms and make sure that I attend to my emotional wellbeing in a healthy way. It’s easier said than done, but just trying to take these steps has got to be more productive than resorting to the old pity party.[1]

[1] Just an NB: a great friend often reminds me that unions fought for our rights to have paid sick leave. If you are ill, you have every single right to take whatever time you need to recover. It will mean you go back to work even fresher, you will be more present and your colleagues are not at risk of contracting your malady. Obviously if you’re really ill, get yourself to the bloody doctor.

Love Note – Avant gardish style (AKA anything but athleisure)

The fashion editor in me has been lying a little dormant for a while, but today, I feel like unleashing her a little. I’m sorry if this comes across a bit Blair Waldorf, but I’m sure this will be good for all of us.

I am well aware that fashion trends can envelope us one and all: I myself have been very open about my questionable adolescent boho phase, which attempted to walk in the shoes of Noughties Sienna Miller but ended up looking like a big old brown mess. I did not have the sartorial maturity to master both neutral, earthy hues and long hemlines. It taught me that just because something is in fashion, it doesn’t mean you should buy it and wear it. Especially if everyone else is buying it too. With this in mind, I am turning my critical fashion gaze to a trend that is beginning to get my goat: athleisure.

Everywhere I have been for the past couple of years, I have seen them: young people shuffling about in a combination of gym leggings, trainers, crop tops and enormous puffer jackets. I see them on university campuses, on the bus, going round Aldi, at the cinema, everywhere. I am not one to bash young people for their choices because being young is a lot more difficult than many older people remember. There is heaps of pressure to be successful, smart, have excellent socials whilst attempting to look after your mental health and a Brexit-ful future to look forward to. There is no doubt that being young in 2019 is hard. I understand that times are tough and we need every last inch of comfort and softness to get us through cold weather and political chaos, and I can see how athleisure helps in this. Why bother dressing properly to leave the house when everything else is going to shit? Having said that, this perpetual state of sartorial proto-gymming has to have an endpoint. Why would I want to wear clothes that remind me that: a) I should be in the gym doing exercise because I eat like a heifer and b) remind me of the horror of the exercise that punctures my week with a whole lot of sweating and my biceps and triceps being ripped to shreds? (Thanks Body Pump combined track).

Now, I am not suggesting that we all leg it to Comme de Garçons to snap up some silhouette-obscuring, proportional challenging Rei Kawakubo garb, even though that would be a whole lot of fun. But something has to be done about the on-going proliferation of athleisure. Yes, things are uncertain and shit at the moment but in times of existential discomfort, we are also given an invitation to grow and challenge old habits. Are we really going to approach this day, 24 hours we will never be given again, with the innumerate possibilities and opportunities it brings, in gym leggings? It’s like watching supermodels turn up for the Met Gala without having heeded the theme: lazy and atrocious.

I really don’t care what you do: whether you opt for layering, colour clashing, minimalism, extravagant knitwear, modest cuts, androgyny or a ball gown, and whether you experiment with the understated chicness of a classic T-shirt and jeans or the all-out geeky Renaissance flamboyance  of Gucci, handmade flowers and all, just make it interesting and make it personal.  Oh the joy of seeing someone who has committed themselves wholeheartedly to their aesthetic, no matter what their style. I just love it.

Finally, I ask you: are we really going to let history remember us for wearing cycling shorts? The pariah of the P.E. kit allegedly made cool because they were worn by a Kardashian? People, I challenge you, for your generation’s own good, to do yourselves a favour and leave the gym leggings in the bloody locker. This period of history is being defined by Trump and Brexit as it is: don’t let athleisure taint the 2010s even further.

Love Note – Grandma and all older people

This Love Note is dedicated to my Grandma, who is turning 93 today. 93! What a wonderful ripe old age, she absolutely blows my mind. Happy birthday Grandma x

There are many wonderful things that make my Grandma special, but what amazes me constantly is how well she has adapted to the constant changes that life brings. This woman, who was born in rural North Wales in 1926 now uses an iPad, sends emails and texts with aplomb (even if her use of capital letters sometimes gets excessive) and has worked out how to watch TV on catch-up. The world has changed unimaginably in the time that she has been alive: she lived through the Wall Street Crash, the Second World War, the establishment of the NHS, all the other ups and downs and advances of the 20th century and the dawn of the new millennium. It is so easy to see how older people could get disorientated and left behind by the inherent busy-ness of today’s society and I am beyond grateful that my Grandma still has her footing within it all.

Whilst everyone in society has something unique and wonderful to offer, older people are particularly valuable. Yet, they are routinely neglected, forgotten about or, worse, considered a waste of space and a drain on our resources. What fools we are to ignore the wisdom and experience that older people bring to our society: they have witnessed and experienced life’s numerous transitions and challenges on a personal level but have also seen the wider shifts and progressions in global terms. Where once we would have sat at the feet of our Elders, to listen to their stories, to learn how to approach life with courage and wisdom, we now keep our ears and our minds closed off.[1]

In the episode ‘2019: A Pubic Space Odyssey’ on Ed Miliband and Geoff Lloyd’s podcast ‘Reasons to be Cheerful’, the case is made exquisitely by Christophe Egret that public space should be developed (in the continental tradition of places, plazas and piazzas) to help young and old rub along together. By having squares and seating areas in urban areas, young and old become visible to one another and their places in public life are more respected and understood. It is a similar premise adopted by Channel 4’s fly-on-the-wall programme ‘Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds’: bringing young children into close contact with older people improves social awareness and feelings of belonging, not only for the children but for older people too. Indeed, young and old are perfect companions, at least according to Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam who wrote In Praise of Folly in 1509:

‘Old men love to be playing with children, and children delight as much in them, to verify the proverb, that Birds of a feather flock together. And indeed what difference can be discerned between them, but that the one is more furrowed with wrinkles, and has seen a little more of the world than the other? For otherwise their whitish hair, their want of teeth, their smallness of stature, their milk diet, their bald crowns, their prattling, their playing, their short memory, their heedlessness, and all their other endowments, exactly agree; and the more they advance in years, the nearer they come back to their cradle, till like children indeed, at last they depart the world, without any remorse at the loss of life, or sense of the pangs of death’.

Spending time with older people is precious and the thought of anyone lonely, isolated and sad is just horrible to me. If you are lucky enough to still have a grandparent, give them a ring every once in a while. It will absolutely brighten their day and most probably yours too. For now, I’m going to send this to my Grandma and thank her: for the trips to Woolworths for pick and mix; for introducing me to Little Women, The Swiss Family Robinson and Mary Poppins; for the trips to Baddesley Clinton, the butterfly farm in Stratford and even just the short walks to Dovehouse; for indulging my sister and mine’s obsession with Claire’s Accessories when we were younger; for the trips to Beatties to see the rocking horse; for the safe and warm home from home and, most importantly, I want to thank her profusely for the unconditional love she has always shown my sister and I.

[1] There was so much that could have been different from the EU referendum debate and result: but one of the biggest divisions and fault lines lay along age. Of the many things we have to learn from this whole experience is to speak to people who have different perspectives to us, and that might just have to begin with the older generations.

Love Note – Fantasy Football

It started off as fun.

I joined my dad’s Fantasy Football league in about 2008, propped it up for approximately 8 years and now things have changed. I’ve got easy access to the Fantasy Premier League app on my phone and all of a sudden, I am taking Fantasy Football far, far, far too seriously. And I know that I’m not alone. My boyfriend and I have in-depth debates about transfers, tensions flare when my dad and I are neck-and-neck, and I set up a work league where the formerly Fantasy Football nonchalant now have spreadsheets, follow pundits on Twitter and are constantly pondering their fantasy budgets.

I’ve always been a football fan: I have steadfastly supported Liverpool since I was first shoved into a red shirt by my parents at the age of four, and it has been a lot of hard work ever since. We won the Champions League in 2005, but we haven’t won the Premier League in my lifetime, we have an uncanny ability to lose crucial games with devastating mistakes (Gerrard’s slip in 2014, John Arne Riise’s headed own goal in 2008 etc.) and because of a crappy fan club ticket-buying system, I haven’t been able to go to Anfield in about ten years. Nevertheless, I’m a Kopite for life and I’m sorry but not sorry to admit that I cry every time I hear ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’. I’m not entirely sure why, it just happens.

Playing Fantasy Football has been addictive but also an eye-opener, largely because it keeps you interested in the game beyond the basic tribalism of supporting a football team. I will never ever care for Manchester United, but I do care whether or not Marcus Rashford will be starting come Saturday; similarly, Chelsea are one of my least favourite teams ever but thank god for Marcos Alonso who is integral, along with Virgil Van Dijk and Andrew Robertson, to the defensive dream team I have going on. Additionally, I have developed a deep appreciation and respect for the smaller teams whom I may have snobbily disregarded a few years ago. I think Leicester’s surprise Premier League win in 2016 reminded us all to never underestimate an underdog, and last season I was pleasantly surprised by the defensive capabilities of Burnley and Pascal Groβ’s attacking record for Brighton and Hove Albion. This season has seen the blossoming of Bournemouth’s midfield and forwards who have been giving the best and most expensive top flight players a darn good run for their money.

Whilst some football fans will not have required an interactive game to notice and appreciate other teams, Fantasy Football has introduced me to all of these players and more, and has developed my deeper appreciation for the game. I would argue that this is something that football has required: with the amount of oil and oligarch money that has been poured into certain teams, football had in recent years lost some of its magic. Of course, the quality of play that has been purchased at teams like Manchester City has been absolutely phenomenal; yet, with the Premier League trophy all but guaranteed to head back to Manchester; extortionate ticket prices across the league; the ease with which managers from all teams seem to be picked up and discarded when the going gets a little bit tough; Sky holding a monopoly on football coverage, and the number of football stadiums that now bear a corporate name (Emirates, Etihad, Vitality, King Power etc.), football seemed to lose some of its charm in its obsessive pursuit of capital. Yet, with Fantasy Football focusing primarily on good play and healthy competition based on a broad array of talent, football is, in mind, regaining relevance and its special place in the lives of ordinary people.

Love Note – Non-Christmas Christmas Films

I am not a Christian, but I have always loved Christmas. I acknowledge that in many ways it has become a consumerist shadow of its former religious and spiritual self; but nevertheless, I have been lucky enough to have lived 26 Christmases so far full of fun and festivity. Additionally, the idea of ‘peace on earth and good will to all men’ has never felt timelier or more desperately needed. The story of a displaced family and the birth of their baby in the most humble and desperate of circumstances is still very much a story for our times.

The festive period is as much about the build up to Christmas as it is about Christmas Day itself. There is no shortage of Christmas activities to get involved with, for example listening to music, writing cards, ice skating, baking, wearing jumpers, drinking mulled wine and eating all the food available with family and friends. Watching films has always been an excellent way of tapping into the Christmas spirit and I don’t need to tell you that there are a plethora of films about Christmas that are worth digging out every year. In addition, I have a few favourites that always make their way out in December that aren’t necessarily specifically festive, but embody a little bit of what Christmas should be all about.

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To Kill a Mockingbird, 1962 – A gorgeous old film based on a gorgeous book about justice, growing up and both protecting and fighting for the vulnerable. In place of a bearded man in a red coat handing out gifts, we have Gregory Peck’s masterful turn as Atticus Finch: wise, caring and as much of a sensitive, commanding presence on his porch as he is in the courtroom. This film is the gift that gives on giving.

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Edward Scissorhands, 1990 – The tenuous Christmas link comes with the large presence of snow that Edward creates with his scissorhands (and the fact that the magical Danny Elfman score has been used in a plethora of Christmas adverts over the years). This film is a fairytale set in sugary suburbia, rooting for the societal underdog against the backdrop of fickle public opinion. It is important to note that I have fallen out massively with Johnny Depp over recent years, but I am still so here for Winona Ryder.

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The Life of Brian, 1979 – This could technically be classed as a Christmas film because it begins with the nativity of Jesus and Brian, and then follows their lives up until the latter’s crucifixion. But I am including it here because as well as being absolutely hilarious, the film propagates heavily for critical thinking as opposed to mob-like sheep mentality. Plus there’s a useful Latin lesson in there for anyone interested.

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101 Dalmatians, 1996 – This film’s stars are adorable spotted puppies and Glenn Close as Cruella De Vil, leaving little else to be said. I have written previously about how, killing animals and psychopathy aside, Cruella might just be one of the greatest style icons of all time and that view still stands. Fashion aside, however, this film primarily revolves around family unity, adventure and features delightful snowy countryside. Perfect Christmas fodder.

Love Note – Tofu Thursdays

It may be a sign that I’m in the thick of my mid-late twenties, but there are few things I like more at the moment than routine and good food. November is being typically dark, cold and rainy; therefore, having a good weekly meal plan, easy yet creative recipes to hand and a hearty, hearty appetite is definitely a good way to be living life right now. The Harping On household’s ‘Tofu Thursdays’ are a case in point: no matter what we have for dinner over the rest of the week, on Thursdays we eat our favourite, delicious tofu meal and it is joyous every single bloody time. Where we might be scrabbling around for ideas on Tuesday or Wednesday, Thursday is a guaranteed good time. Work colleagues and friends have been subject to my tofu ramblings for actual years now, so I think I should commit this culinary tradition to my blog.

I discovered this recipe a couple of years ago whilst bored at work and Googling ‘fun vegan recipes’. It came up on some Buzzfeed list or other and after making it once, it became a beloved regular fixture. It is effectively tofu in a homemade peanut butter satay sauce (please see recipe below) but it always feels like so much more than that. It epitomises the simple joy I have discovered in making meals with fresh ingredients instead of relying purely on pre-made sauces. I am a bit of an undisciplined cook, so I rarely weigh all the ingredients: I choose instead to just chuck in as much or as little as I feel that day. This means that even though this meal is scheduled in every Thursday, it is slightly different every single time. And yet still so, so delicious. Don’t get me wrong, there have been a few disastrous attempts at this dish (including the satay getting burnt, too much Sriracha hot sauce blowing our collective heads off and the use of chia seeds in the satay that absorbed all the moisture and created a dry soddish mess). The kitchen, however, is an excellent place for experimenting and there is plenty of variety to be found within the structural confines of a favourite recipe.

Since becoming a vegetarian in September 2016, I’ve learnt so much about flavours, textures, nutrition and my own ability to cook tasty food. This meal has become my most confident and trusty and I am more than happy to share it with you all. I can’t guarantee that I’ll stop blithering on about it at work/home/the pub but, for me, it’s worth going on about. Happy Tofu Thursdays!

I have made my own tweaks to wherever the original recipe is now and it goes as follows:

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Ingredients

Group 1

1 tbsp coconut oil

0.5 tbsp oil (olive/red palmfruit/flaxseed etc.)

2 garlic cloves

A biggish hunk of ginger

 

Group 2

Firm/extra firm plain tofu

4 tbsp soy sauce

4 tbsp white wine vinegar

3 tbsp peanut butter

2 tbsp golden syrup

Healthy dousing of Sriracha chilli sauce

1 tbsp nutritional yeast

Pinch of salt and pepper

4 tbsp water

1 cup of cashew nuts

 

Group 3

Rice/bulgar wheat/cous cous

Petit pois

Sweet corn

Spring onions

 

Method

  1. Chop up the garlic and ginger
  2. Drop them into a pan with coconut oil and other oil – don’t turn heat on yet
  3. Chop the tofu into cubes and put them to the side
  4. Mix all the sauce ingredients from Group 2 except the cashew nuts in a food processor or blender (I use a Nutribullet)
  5. Start to heat the garlic, ginger and oils until they simmer
  6. Turn the heat up higher and add the tofu
  7. Cook the tofu, stirring continuously, until it starts to turn golden brown
  8. Pour the satay sauce over the tofu and add the cashew nuts. Keep stirring to ensure that the sauce gets quite thick and sticky, but doesn’t burn at the bottom of the pan (it’s quite a weighty mixture, so burning it is easy to do and utterly soul destroying)
  9. Whilst mixing the sauce, boil up some rice/bulgar wheat/cous cous
  10. Also start boiling some petit pois peas and sweetcorn
  11. When the satay is thick, turn off the heat
  12. Mix together the carbs, peas and sweetcorn
  13. Pour the satay on top
  14. Chop the spring onions into little bits and sprinkle on top
  15. Eat!

Love Note – Expecto Patronum

It is a futile endeavour to try and name the single best thing about Harry Potter. The seven books in the series captured the imagination of millennial children like little else, and continue to be a source of escapism, fun, and belonging for many. Whilst the Lord of the Rings trilogy will always be my franchise of choice, Harry Potter was an integral part of my childhood. I cannot count the number of times I’ve saved people from the purgatory of not knowing which Hogwarts house they’re in by encouraging/forcing them to take the Pottermore Sorting Hat quiz, nor the number of extremely serious conversations I’ve had with people about the key issues of Snape’s morality, the discrepancies between feisty-cool Ginny in the books and lacklustre-wooden Ginny in the films, and about which magical career would have been my calling (Hogwarts professor? Wandmaker? Knight Bus Conductor? Who knows?!).[1] We have been offered a vivid, imaginative literary world to immerse ourselves in and I am here for that any day of the week.

The world has always been a dark and scary place, but in times like these, with right wing sentiments re-emerging across the world, bigotry and fear running rampant and uncertainty hanging around all us in a dense fog, it seems particularly, and uncannily, dangerous. We need hope and optimism more than ever. As such, the Patronus charm created by Rowling, and first seen in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, is the beautiful, protective and empowering force we all need in our lives right now. It is apparently a notoriously difficult spell to cast that affords protection from dark and devastating forces, acting as a guardian and defender. Indeed, the Latin translation of the incantation ‘Expecto Patronum’ is ‘I await a guardian’. I love everything about how this charm is presented in the book. Harry is in such a vulnerable position when he meets Professor Lupin (one of my all-time favourite HP characters) because he is a mere thirteen years old and, with a litany of traumatic experiences filling his past, is overpowered by the profound darkness and desolation brought upon by the Dementors. I would argue that out of all the adults across all of the books, Lupin gives Harry the greatest educational gift: he equips Harry with the ability to draw from his own internal resources to find protection, safety and joy. Lupin teaches and enables Harry to access hope and wonder when everything appears bleak beyond repair. He doesn’t necessarily save him, but instead offers him something much more valuable: the means to save himself.[2]

On Pottermore, the Patronus charm is described as ‘the awakened secret self that lies dormant until needed, but which must now be brought to light…’ and appears in the form of an animal. There is so much room here for a Jungian depth-psychology analysis, but let’s just leave it at this: whatever stories our chattering minds weave for us, strength, wisdom and courage resides in all of us, all the time. The Patronus charm may be just another abstraction from a wonderful creative mind. However, as with a lot of good writing, the Patronus is a literary representation of a psychological, cultural idea. It can take being broken open, a juncture, a confrontation with extreme fear or the very act of growing up to learn how to access them; but strength, courage and love are always there within us. And in times like these, we need those deep, wise, hidden reserves more than ever.

[1] I’m hopelessly inquisitive and shamelessly talk about books as if they’re real. I’m in Ravenclaw, could you tell?

[2] All whilst dealing with his own monthly lycanthropic nightmares, might I add. Such a babe.