Love Note – Grandma and all older people

This Love Note is dedicated to my Grandma, who is turning 93 today. 93! What a wonderful ripe old age, she absolutely blows my mind. Happy birthday Grandma x

There are many wonderful things that make my Grandma special, but what amazes me constantly is how well she has adapted to the constant changes that life brings. This woman, who was born in rural North Wales in 1926 now uses an iPad, sends emails and texts with aplomb (even if her use of capital letters sometimes gets excessive) and has worked out how to watch TV on catch-up. The world has changed unimaginably in the time that she has been alive: she lived through the Wall Street Crash, the Second World War, the establishment of the NHS, all the other ups and downs and advances of the 20th century and the dawn of the new millennium. It is so easy to see how older people could get disorientated and left behind by the inherent busy-ness of today’s society and I am beyond grateful that my Grandma still has her footing within it all.

Whilst everyone in society has something unique and wonderful to offer, older people are particularly valuable. Yet, they are routinely neglected, forgotten about or, worse, considered a waste of space and a drain on our resources. What fools we are to ignore the wisdom and experience that older people bring to our society: they have witnessed and experienced life’s numerous transitions and challenges on a personal level but have also seen the wider shifts and progressions in global terms. Where once we would have sat at the feet of our Elders, to listen to their stories, to learn how to approach life with courage and wisdom, we now keep our ears and our minds closed off.[1]

In the episode ‘2019: A Pubic Space Odyssey’ on Ed Miliband and Geoff Lloyd’s podcast ‘Reasons to be Cheerful’, the case is made exquisitely by Christophe Egret that public space should be developed (in the continental tradition of places, plazas and piazzas) to help young and old rub along together. By having squares and seating areas in urban areas, young and old become visible to one another and their places in public life are more respected and understood. It is a similar premise adopted by Channel 4’s fly-on-the-wall programme ‘Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds’: bringing young children into close contact with older people improves social awareness and feelings of belonging, not only for the children but for older people too. Indeed, young and old are perfect companions, at least according to Desiderius Erasmus of Rotterdam who wrote In Praise of Folly in 1509:

‘Old men love to be playing with children, and children delight as much in them, to verify the proverb, that Birds of a feather flock together. And indeed what difference can be discerned between them, but that the one is more furrowed with wrinkles, and has seen a little more of the world than the other? For otherwise their whitish hair, their want of teeth, their smallness of stature, their milk diet, their bald crowns, their prattling, their playing, their short memory, their heedlessness, and all their other endowments, exactly agree; and the more they advance in years, the nearer they come back to their cradle, till like children indeed, at last they depart the world, without any remorse at the loss of life, or sense of the pangs of death’.

Spending time with older people is precious and the thought of anyone lonely, isolated and sad is just horrible to me. If you are lucky enough to still have a grandparent, give them a ring every once in a while. It will absolutely brighten their day and most probably yours too. For now, I’m going to send this to my Grandma and thank her: for the trips to Woolworths for pick and mix; for introducing me to Little Women, The Swiss Family Robinson and Mary Poppins; for the trips to Baddesley Clinton, the butterfly farm in Stratford and even just the short walks to Dovehouse; for indulging my sister and mine’s obsession with Claire’s Accessories when we were younger; for the trips to Beatties to see the rocking horse; for the safe and warm home from home and, most importantly, I want to thank her profusely for the unconditional love she has always shown my sister and I.

[1] There was so much that could have been different from the EU referendum debate and result: but one of the biggest divisions and fault lines lay along age. Of the many things we have to learn from this whole experience is to speak to people who have different perspectives to us, and that might just have to begin with the older generations.

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